love.

yes, there was nothing i did to deserve his love.

He saw me in the gutter, in my rags, and in my filth, and He said, "i love you. you are my bride." so what will i say? will i say, "well, rags were good enough for Him in the beginning. i guess they will be good enough for Him all the way." never!

rather i will say, "oh, don't you have some stronger soap? i need something that will get all this grime and grease off me. don't you have a wire brush i can use on my fingernails? and that is lovely perfume, but don't you have something even more elegant? He deserves the best!

"how He could have ever loved me i don't know, but today i will be all i can be for Him."

everyone else looking at her said, "what a worthless wench."

but the Prince saw His bride.

shall we persist in our rags, our grime - our sins? not at all! paul says, "thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness."

we must not sin, because we cannot return again to the slavery of sin when He has called us His bride.

-john n. oswalt

I Know

I know He is the Beginning, so why do I worry about the end?

I know He is the Creator, so why do I wonder who will destroy?

I know He has forgiven me, so why can’t I forgive myself?

I know He is a healer, so why of I speak of sickness

I know He can do all things, so why do I say I can’t?

I know He will protect me, so why do I fear?

I know He will supply all my needs, so why can’t I wait?

I know He is my strength and my salvation, so why do I feel weak?

I know that everything and everyone has a season, so why when someone’s season is over do I weep instead of rejoice?

I know He is the right way, so why do I go the wrong way?

I know He is the Light, so why do I choose to walk in darkness?

I know that whatever I ask of God, God will give me, so why am I scared to ask?

I know tomorrow is not promised, so why do I put off for tomorrow what I can do today?

I know that the truth shall make me free, so why do I continue to lie?

I know He gives us revelation knowledge and understanding, so why do I lean on my own understanding?

I know I should live in the spirit as well as walk in the spirit, so why do I choose to live in the spirit but walk in the flesh?

I know that when praises go up blessings come down, so why do I refuse to praise Him?

I know I am saved, so why do I refuse the word He has given me?

I know He has a plan for me, so why am I rushing it because I am eager to do His will, when it is His time not my time.

--Author Unknown

Looking back...

Well, as many of you probably know, I'm back at home after my 10ish weeks in TX. Looking back, I wouldn't give up the experience for anything. I might have had my moments of frustration or disappointment, but I know 100% that God took me to El Paso for a reason.

What did I learn?

To rely on God when I'm in a new place and desperately lonely for my family and friends at home.

To see God work in a situation where I disagree wholeheartedly with the status quo.

To understand the importance of having a solid support network surrounding you - people of every age.

To work across language barriers with as much grace as possible - every child deserves to know the love of Christ.

To remember how pumped I get to teach kids about God - it's such a rush. I wish I could have that feeling all the time

To go wherever God leads me without too many expectations because sometimes expectations get their butts kicked.

Under His sky

These last few days have been reentry camp for the Youth In Mission (YIM) students who traveled this summer. They were in 20 different sites around the world. El Paso became their home base as they returned for 2 days of debriefing, story-telling, and sharing what God has done.

One of my jobs was to debrief some teams about their ministry. I also was supposed to record the stories of students as they shared in either small or large group settings.

Oh how God moves... It's absolutely amazing.

I talked with one team that described their site/country as the most beautiful screwed up mess they had ever seen. In the midst of the gorgeous landscape sat a people who were governed terribly. They were in a church where the missionaries left them basically alone to run the ministry. As they bitterly yet lovingly told their stories to me I couldn't help but think that that place was ripe for fresh ideas and for God's hand to move. Why I'm pulled toward discouraging situations, I have no idea... Maybe it's because I think the beauty of God moving in absolutely hopeless situations is unparalleled.

What a powerful God we serve.

In another session we had a group prayer sessions where the students led out in prayers as they felt they should. One girl started praying in such a powerful way that I had to write down her story. Through tears she remembered to God how her friends in Thailand were beginning to gather together to do exactly what we were doing - praising, thanking, worshipping our Maker. She thanked Him for our army of brothers and sisters throughout the world all tied together because of our worship of our Abba under His sky.

I think that's beautiful. We can care about the world for the simple fact that we all - not some - all live under our Maker's sky. That is why we should love others. We are all loved by One.

VBS

this week has been soooo good for my mood - VBS!!! :)

it's one of the first weeks that i've really been busy every day. who knew that i would be so excited to be busy...

we're using nazarene publishing house vbs curriculum - it's called Museum @ 12627. i'm telling the Bible stories and spending the rest of the night just hanging out with the kids. i love getting to know them. even though i've been working with a lot of them in Bordertown, i feel like this is the first time i'm really getting to know them because i'm seeing them more than just once a week. we've had consistently around 20 k-6th graders and just under 10 pre-k.

the first night we talked about creation and the fall - the kids paid attention so well. i've gotten used to how they are in Bordertown (aka CRAZY). they actually listened to me talk for more than 5 minutes!!! next we talked about the call of Abraham, Ruth, and last night was the story of Jesus. today is about Pentecost and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.

sometimes i forget how it feels to speak to kids. i get nervous as i prepare to speak. i'm afraid that i will get up there and be glued to my notes. i get afraid that the kids won't listen to me or not relate to what i'm trying to say.

but then i get up there and it just comes - i love being with kids. i love telling them stories. i love making them laugh and say, "wow!" as soon as i get up there all the nervousness just goes away like it never was.

these kids are amazing. i'm so so glad i'm here.

and you all who know me will be proud of me for taking pictures - enjoy them!!! :)

broken walls

so if anyone reads this blog, you'll notice that i changed the template... i'm a newbie blogger - i didn't even know there were free templates online!

anyway, this one is called broken walls. i love it. i think it's beautiful. and i love the name. broken walls.

that's how i want my life to be. i've spent a lot of time building up walls - but walls only serve to block out people that i love. especially God. i think that i block him with more walls than i block anyone.

i don't want walls in my life. this background reminds me that i'm a work in progress. the walls are being torn down but aren't destroyed yet. i'm not strong enough to take them down myself - i need Hands that are bigger than mine.
ones that have become rough from years of hard labor and work with wood.
ones that have beautiful scars because of Their love for me.
ones that hold me up when i can't stand alone.

those are the Hands that help me break my walls

what i've been doing in the meantime...

Sorry I haven't updated in a long time! There hasn't been too much to tell

I finished my class I was taking through directed study last week - it feels good to have it off my chest. Now I'm focusing on my internships and the ministries here.

I'm leading Bordertown again on Sunday. Jill and I want to serve communion to the kids in a few weeks. They never go down to "big church" and so they've never had the communion experience. But we don't want to just throw it on them. So this week I'm doing an Old Testament background to the story of Jesus. Next week Jill will cover Jesus and the salvation message. Then in 2 weeks we'll serve communion. Be praying that the kids take this stuff to heart.

VBS is in a couple of weeks too - I'm telling the Bible stories.

Other than that.... not much is going on. My mom is visiting in 3 weeks and I'll be home in 6.

Also, shout out to Jessica for being my first (and only) blog follower :) you make me feel loved, Jess! I hope your Mission Corps stuff is going well!!!

Love you all - drop me a note. I miss you all